My "50th" Birthday!

Today I turn 50! Wow! When my mom turned 50 I thought that was really old! But now that I am 50 it is not old at all!

I came into this world butt first! I am not kidding! I was a breach baby! And there have been times in my life that I have thought since I came into this world butt first I have been doing things ass backwards!!

What we don't realize at 20 or 25 or 30 or 40 that we make our own way in this world.  That we have no one to blame our mistakes on but ourselves.  You know the old saying "If I knew now what I knew at 25 I would done things differently".  Sometimes I think that but I have to say that I have had some great times over the last 50 years.  There are a lot of things I would of done differently but you can not change the past.  You can only try and do things differently in the present so that you have a better future.

Regrets? Lots of regrets! But we can not change the past we can only improve each day and make our future better.   We say and do things in anger and later regret them.  And once words are spoken they can not be taken back! I have learned that one of the most important things in life is to apologize for my actions.  I have hurt a lot of people in my lifetime and a lot of people have hurt me.  I have learned how to forgive and to ask for forgiveness.

Am I wiser since I turned 50? Yes and No! I have to say yes to the fact that only I can make myself a better person and do the best I can to treat others as I want to be treated. I can say no because I am going to make mistakes over the years.  But I think that now I have the knowledge to try and not make the same mistakes I made 20 or 30 years ago and be the best person, friend, aunt, niece, sister in law and daughter over the years until my death.

I am spending the day with my mom as it is also Easter today! And mom I am sorry I was a breach birth and caused a hard delivery!!!  And to mention all the pain I have caused you over the years! I do love you and thank you for sticking by me through all the hard times.

To all my friends and family who celebrated my birthday with me on Friday, April 22, 2011-Thank You from the bottom of my heart.  I had a wonderful time! I love all of you and thank God everyday I have you all in my life!

Happy Easter

For Mrs A!

When we hit a certain age we learn that death is in fact a part of life.  Even though we hate the thoughts of death we all know it is inevitable. 

On Friday, April 8th, 2011 my best friend lost her mother to a lenghty illness.  But what most of you do not know is that Mary Kay and I have been friends for over 32 years. So the death of her mother has been devastating to me.  I have known Mrs. A (as I called her) most of my adult life.  I spent many Sunday's at their dinner table, went to birthday parties, visited over the Christmas Holidays.  Mrs A. never forgot my birthday as I never forgot hers or her husbands. 

As her health began to deteriorate over the last several years I still was not ready for her death.  Mrs. A had no quality of life over the last several years.  She was unable to walk due to bad hips but she still could hang with the best of us.

And now begins the grieving process. How long is it going to take me to get over Mrs. Allen's death? She was such a wonderful, funny person who always made me feel like part of the family and was very kind to me. I will miss this woman as I will miss my mom when she passes. 

So I advise you to always let the people close to you always know how much they mean to you!

For Jim, Rick, Susan and Mary Kay please accept my deepest sympathies over the loss of your mother. She will truly be missed and know that I loved her very much.  And Mrs. A I know you are no longer in pain and at peace. And I also know you will have Heaven whipped into shape in no time!